On Pain, Injury, Intelligence and Other Notions

This week, Vocational Rehabilitation sent me to a Functional Capacity Evaluation (FCE). This may mean nothing to you, and if that is true, you are extremely fortunate.  The FCE is a series of physical assessments that measure your abilities to perform certain tasks.  That didn't sound so bad, so I did no research before I showed up for this evaluation.  I should have.  If you are ever sent for this evaluation, please read up on what you will be doing, and please understand that it is incredibly painful and you will suffer.  You will suffer a lot.  Days later, you will still be suffering... a lot.  You will wonder if you should go to the ER, and if you are like me, you will choose to see how close to death you will go, since you do not have insurance.  If you have insurance, you will choose to go to the ER.  If you do not have insurance, you'll despise everything about the convoluted medical insurance system, but you know you cannot afford to die this week, so you'll take as many pain relievers that you can possibly stomach and hope to get through.  Your heart will feel like giving up.  Your blood pressure will go through the roof.  Your oxygen levels will drop.  If you have an injury like mine, you will regret ever participating in this assessment, as it will make the injury worse.
 
I won't know the results of this evaluation for a while, I suppose.  The Occupational Therapist who administered the tests was kind, and even a bit apologetic.  He did say he was going to strongly recommend intense physical therapy for my problems and he suggested that I see my former surgeon for care.  While I appreciate that he sees the problems I face, I can only shrug at the recommendation to pursue medical care.  I am perpetually amazed at the number of medical professionals and the "welfare" professionals that do not understand the ACA and Medicaid gap. I am beginning to believe that the only people who do understand the gap are those who are in it.

Another joyful little gift from Voc. Rehab. is the job coach.  I understand that the people who serve as job coaches most frequently provide services to those who may be intellectually challenged.  I have a hard time believing that they don't serve those who are only physically challenged though.  With that said, I have no good words for my latest case manager/job coach speaking to me like I am an imbecile.  My joints have nothing to do with my intellectual faculties.  I very much prefer not to be spoken to like a dull-witted child and I cannot think of any reason to patronize any person regardless of the challenges they face.

It seems the further I go down this rabbit-hole, the more I see that the system inherently discourages and hurts, instead of helps those who need it.  I am at the point where if we had a safety net, if we had someplace else to turn, we would.  I never expected to experience this sort of loss of dignity.