Do Hard Things

I don't know when it became fashionable in the inspirational crowd.  I remember seeing a book title, and the anthem being picked up by mom-blogs, and Christian blogs, and homeschoolers, and later being repeated here and there.  Over two years ago, I picked it up myself as a challenge to try to rectify my misspent twenties: Do hard things.

I thought taking college Math classes and packaging my varied credits into an associate's degree would be hard things to do--so I did them.  I thought rehabilitating my knees, riddled with arthritis and plagued by patella-femoral pain syndrome, with grueling physical therapy followed by a surgery and more physical therapy would be hard things to do--so I did them.  I thought that taking the steps to work towards a bachelor's degree by tackling more college classes would be hard things to do--so I did them.

Those are hard things done by choice.  There is a certain, smug, assurance when you speak of these kinds of hard things no matter if you succeeded or failed.  You did hard things.  You chose to take on a challenge head first and no matter the outcome, the lessons were in the journey.  You can celebrate that journey, and know that you can do more hard things, or do better at the hard things that stumped you on the first attempt. "Do hard things" is a joyful, inspirational message meant to get you out of your comfort zone.

No one chooses to do the actual hard things.  It is insanity to seek them out.  I essentially failed a difficult Math class, but I did the hard thing of trying to pass it.  I did not pass, as my life was turned upside down during that spring with the passing of my father-in-law.  In dealing with this sudden loss of a beloved father, we did more than hard things.  To this day, we deal with that loss and grief in often less than inspirational ways.  Death is not the hard things inspirational speakers were talking about.

This poverty, this constant struggle to get by--this struggle to have shelter, clean clothing, food, transportation, and find employment, are not the "hard things" of the anthem.  This pain that never ends and the circle of complications that go with it, are not the "hard things" of the anthem.  Trying to keep your children innocent and your marriage somewhat functional while your world is completely failing, does not count as "hard things."  These fall beyond "hard things."  If you have a choice, don't do these things, they are all but impossible.

Failing a Math class is disappointing.  Failing at life is devastating.  Overcoming the disappointment of a failed Math class takes a while, until you can regroup and try again.  Failing at holding your life and family together isn't one of those things you get a second chance at.  So do hard things, but realize the world is so much harder than you ever imagined.