Blessings

We are blessed.  Even in these struggles we are blessed.  I have a train of thinking that I follow when I feel like this knee is causing too much pain, and I am overwhelmed with fear for the future. It goes like this:

"I can't believe that this is getting worse.  What am I going to do?  What is the purpose behind this?  How can I fix this?"

Paul frequently wrote of a thorn in his side, and sometimes I want to think this knee and this poverty are figurative thorns in my side.  But really, Paul's suffering was from being beaten for speaking the Word of God, and for teaching about Christ.  I've done nothing like that.  In fact, I'm quite a selfish person, who lives in relative comfort when compared to others.  I've rarely been taken to task for my faith in God, and its always been reasonably civil.  Sure, I've been called names, lost friends, and had my feelings hurt, but never beaten or imprisoned.

And really, I can't compare my struggle with Paul.  But we do have Christians imprisoned around the world in terrible conditions, which are much more like Paul."

At this point, I remember Saeed Abedini, the pastor from Boise, Idaho who is imprisoned in one of Iran's worst prisons because he was building orphanages and because he is a Christian.  He is beaten and abused regularly.  His wife has shared reports that she receives from family who can visit him, and its heartbreaking.  To think of how overwhelming it is for this family.

So I shall not carry-on and complain.  I have my husband close.  I have my beautiful children.  If my "thorn" is an injury that will someday be healed and a financial struggle that will someday resolve, I will count myself among the most blessed.