A Slow Start

As spring takes hold of southern Idaho, life is off to a slow start. We've been given a small pickup to help ease the strain of being a busy one car family.  The minivan has proven to be yet another poor option in our descent into poverty. Perhaps the gift-pickup will help us buy more time until we can afford to repair or replace the van.  Count it as another way businesses prey on the poor. If a car dealer can sell a faulty vehicle to someone who is desperate, he will. There is little recourse for an impoverished buyer in this case. We do not have the money to invest in repairs, nor do we have the money to replace the vehicle.

Now that we have a small, steady income, I am starting to set goals again.  We desperately need to replace the washer and dryer as neither appliance works. We cannot consider shopping for new, but the fear of buying yet another broken down, piece of trash discourages me. Dragging the red wagon filled with dripping wet laundry across the yard to the clothes line discourages me too.  I haven't decided which is worse: the possibility of wasting what little money we live on, or dealing with the incredibly dysfunctional, yet known, appliances. These sort of decisions annoy me in their bizarre complexity.  In the past, I would have bought new appliances, complained that my spring was ruined by the cost and inconvenience and paid someone to deliver and install new ones for me. Now I send text messages to craigslist people who never answer back, and wish for the days of the harvest gold Maytag set my, and everyone else's, mother used to have.

In the end, the reality of trying to climb out of this pit is still discouraging as another season arrives. We want to have hope and we continue to try to change our situation, but sometimes... its just so damn frustrating.