Welfare Queens

She's overwhelmed.  You can tell by the set of her eyes.  In this class we aren't asked why we are here, but it comes out in conversation.  We are just checking in and learning more of how to fill out the forms.  Her roots show she's about 6 weeks past her appointment in the salon, and from the look of it, she's used to having a higher quality cut and color.  She's required to have an email address in order to be here, but doesn't have any idea how to set one up, or how to use a computer.  She's never really had or wanted to.  She says her husband was a machinist, but he left.  She appears to be on the lower end of 60.  A younger lady offers to help her with the computer center, and just that relief softens the lines around her eyes.  The fear of not fulfilling every requirement of the program and ending up "sanctioned" is real.

Across the room from her sits a whiskey-voiced woman with too much makeup, cataract-red lipstick and hair piled high on her head.  Her hair too, is showing 12 weeks of gray roots but under a home dye job.  Her make-up is applied thickly to hide the black eye.  I'm pretty sure its not an accidental black eye, and despair hangs over her like a web.  If I had to guess she's mid-50's.  I wish I could offer to take her to coffee.  I don't have what it takes to be a support for her, but I wish I did.  I wonder if anyone ever lets her know that she's valuable and beautiful.

Next to her is the young 20-something-year-old lady. Dressed in men's jeans and a men's shirt, with large, clunky-looking sneakers.  She shuffled in with a look of irritation and resignation.  She tells me, as she rolls her eyes, she was missing work for this mandatory class.  She works at Little Caesars, but just convinced a mechanic's shop to take her on as "shop-boy".  She says she'll never eat Little Caesars pizza again, and I laugh and tell her I worked at one once, and I totally agree.  She wants to get on her feet and then become a mechanic.  If she missed the class, she would lose her food stamps and WIC.  So she has to choose to miss the work that would pay her bills so that she can continue to feed herself and her child.  I just don't understand this system.

Next to me sits a woman dressed in a floral skirt and flattering coordinated top.  Everything about her is tidy and she brings her own pen.  She's here because she has to be.  Her left hand ring finger bears the indention of a gone ring.  I can only imagine.  When asked what she did to further her job search this week, she responds with updating her resume and sending in 3 applications.  She is embarrassed to be here, and determined to get out quickly.  I'm guessing she was a middle class housewife like myself, before things changed and she broke her pride and asked for help.  She has a quick, efficient way about her and she's looking for office work.  I silently pray she finds it quickly.

These are the welfare queens--these women who are left, broken, and overwhelmed.